Sebastian Horsley

Self-Proclaimed Dandy, Sebastian Horsley will be in NYC next Wednesday. For a glimpse at his form of Dandyism, check out his take on different subjects:







Where and what would you eat?
I cannot tell you how disinterested I am in food. The only thing I know about it is that, generally, the better food tastes, the worse it is for you. I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get. Health nuts are going to feel pretty stupid someday, lying in hospital, dying of nothing. And of course the trouble with eating food is that it doesn't work. Five or six days later, you're hungry again. The only case for eating is that the impact of the drugs is substantially enhanced.

What would you do for fun?
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. It is ghastly. Middle age is the time of life when the most fun you have is talking about the most fun you used to have. When your medicine chest is better stocked than your drinks cabinet. What can you do? I don't know. If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of cripples. I guess I would go off to the brothel to get a good housemaids wank. And then lose my penis to a whore with disease.


What kinds of shops are worth going to?
None of them. A shop is a place where people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like. I always enjoy strolling down Bond Street. I like being reminded of all the things that I don't want. Shops seem to me rather like charities (and, as you know I hate charities). They help the super rich (and the vulgar) to unburden themselves of their cash. They don't actually sell objects - lizard-skin cufflink boxes, gold plated noughts-and-crosses sets -- they sell more exclusive commodities: Aspiration, Smugness, Eternal Life. And you can take all that and shove it all the way up. I am sure there is ample room.

Boyle's Boy, earlier article on his love affair with Scotland's most violent criminal